I was ready to walk out the door for work last Wednesday morning when my best friend from high school called. As all feeling drained from my body, I listened to her tell me that she had just found her nineteen year old son on the living room couch, dead. Her only child, a major part of her life and her world for nineteen years, lay still and cold as she watched the paramedics and police do their jobs. I listened and cried with her, then told her I would be with her as soon as possible. Fortunately, I'm only an hour away, and I have an understanding husband and boss, so I was able to be at Susan's side in less time than you might think. I stayed with her and her husband for a couple days, cooking, straightening, listening, crying and marvelling at the strength of people during such a horrible occurrence.

At this time, it appears that the cause of his death was an accidental drug overdose. It was not a desperate act by a depressed teenager. It was not a dramatic gesture that went awry. It was a teenage boy, a bright and caring young man with plans for his future who decided that it would be fun to get high with a friend and watch a movie. The little kink in the plan was either an unfortunate combination of drugs or a contaminated drug that caused that little spark that makes each of us who we are to cease to exist in that young body. An autopsy was performed because of Aaron's age and because of the circumstances and it may turn out that there was an underlying and unknown medical condition that was the real cause of his death. At this point, it really doesn't matter.

Susan and Pete have lost the most precious thing in their lives. They are viewing Aaron's death as a murder; the one who gave him the pills is a murderer. The continuation of Susan's family line is not to be; there are no other children to continue her branch of the family. All their hopes and dreams for their child have been suddenly and cruelly crushed out by what was likely a poor choice made on the spur of the moment. C'mon, let's get high; it'll be fun.

I have children who I know have made poor choices in their short lives, as I have made in my longer one. I am grateful that their choices have not resulted in their injury or death. I have no great philosophical statement to make. There is much pain in my heart for my friends, and for my god-son, that this life has been ended so suddenly and maybe so needlessly.

I believe that there is only good in this universe and I don't have to be able to see the good to know that it exists. I don't understand things like this, but I don't need to understand them. I only need to remind myself that all good will come from this. I remind myself that there is no great loss without some small gain, to quote my mother. And I remind myself that sometimes, it just sucks.